The Fan
by Eesa
Summary: Haruhi always did wonder where all those damn petals came from.


Haruhi remembered the first time she walked into the Music Room.

A bright light enveloped her. Beautiful music chimed forth, and rose petals danced out, seemingly from nowhere. As the light dimmed, the six members of the host club were there, as if waiting for her. It was almost magical.

This was not the case.

Hikaru and Karou were getting antsy. "Boss, we're been standing here for at least half an hour!" Hikaru whined.

"Yeah, my muscles are starting to cramp up!" Added Karou.

"Stop whining, both of you!" Tamaki muttered, a smile fixed on his face. What had started out as a cheerful, easygoing grin had evolved to a creepy grimace. That, thought Haruhi, was what happened when you kept a smile in place for a long period of time.

The seven of them were standing in front of the door, posing elaborately. All were ready for any customer who walked into the room. But the minutes passed on, and still no one came in. Haruhi could see a muscle beginning to twitch in Tamaki's jaw.

Hunny began to wobble on the spot. "Takashi, I'm getting tired!"

Haruhi blanched. "Sempai," she started tentatively, "Maybe we should take a break. No one's showing up, and we're all getting a little tired."

Tamaki's face started to glow with almost unearthly good cheer. "How adorable! My darling daughter is getting worn out! Come, you can sit on daddy's lap!"

Immediately Haruhi's face became a wall of stoniness. "No thanks."

Kyouya pushed his glasses further up his nose. "I was hoping for someone to come in today. I purchased a new industrial fan to help blow the rose petals."

This seemed like an exceedingly bad idea to Haruhi. Although most of their customers enjoyed the way gentle petals wafted out of the room to greet them as they walked in, she found it annoying. They always stuck to her, and she found herself more often than not picking them out of her hair and clothes during class. Once one had hit her square in the eye, and it stung like a bitch for a week.

The fan sat across from the door, a large basket of rose petals in front of it. Kyouya had rigged it so that by opening the door, the fan started. This blew the flowers across the room, and out the door. This industrial fan however, was, quite simply put, a beast.

It was huge, and looked like it belonged in a wind tunnel. At least six feet tall, it was a metal and plastic monstrosity. Renge had been in earlier to try and pretty it up by adding bows and ribbons, but it still looked god awful to Haruhi.

Hunny began to yawn, and everyone's head whipped around to stare anxiously at him. Surely, someone had to come soon! Mori scooped him up.

Suddenly, the door creaked open tentatively. Everyone assumed their positions, ready for anything. The door cracked open a little more, and the shy face of a girl peeked through.

The sound of a chainsaw that had mated with a wood chipper filled the room as the fan started up. The girl screeched as a wall of rose petals hit her directly in the face. Unfortunately, as her mouth was open, several found their way in and lodged themselves in her windpipe.

"Ah, a new customer!" Takashi's voice struggled to be heard over the roar of the fan. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I SAID, AH, A NEW CUSTOMER!" Kyouya and Haruhi were working frantically to try and switch the fan off.

They finally found the button, and the noise died down. "Much better!" Takashi declared. "Like I was saying, ah, a new customer!"

The girl was unable to reply, and was promptly turning blue. "I am Takashi, your handsome prince!" He crammed yet another rose into her twitching hands.

"Tamaki," Kyouya said, looking interestedly at the scene over his glasses, "I think she's choking."

"Nonsense!" Tamaki announced, executing several perfect pirouettes. "She is simply in awe of my astounding beauty! She is rendered speechless by my-"

"No boss, I think she's actually choking." Hikaru and Karou said, in unison. They peered over at the girl, who was by now doubled up on the floor, clawing at her windpipe.

"She looks like she's in a lot of pain, Hikaru."

"We've never seen anyone die before, Karou."

A wail tore through the room. "Takashi, I don't wanna see a dead lady!" Hunny began to sob, and Mori shielded him from seeing the girl, who, at the moment, was trying to stab a hole in her windpipe with a pen so she could get some air.

"All of you are useless." Haruhi stalked over to the girl, and preceded to whap her on the back until she hacked up a wad of rose petals onto the floor.

"Maybe bringing back the old fan would be prudent," mumbled Kyouya, scribbling on his clipboard.


End file.
